The best of spam

Tin of spamThanks to the powerful widget/gizmo/software thingy that is Akismet, all the comments sent to this blog are screened for their level of spamminess (if that’s not a technical term already, I’m sure it will be very soon). Efficient though it is, I often get the feeling I’m missing out on some insightful pearl of wisdom or literary gem nestling in the pink lump of fat and pork. So a short while ago, I decided to hoard a little spam and sift through it. What follows are the best examples of quality luncheon meat I’ve received over the last few months.

Enjoy!

You’re too, too kind
“Magnificent items from you, man. I have be mindful your stuff previous to and you’re simply extremely magnificent. I actually like what you’ve got here, really like what you are saying and the best way by which you say it. You are making it enjoyable and you continue to take care of to stay it smart. I can’t wait to learn much more from you. That is really a tremendous website.”

Oh please – I’m blushing now
“Thank you for sharing superb informations. Your web-site is very cool. I’m impressed by the details that you’ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for more articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched everywhere and just couldn’t come across. What a great site.”

I feel a Ferrero Rocher moment coming on…
“Very nice very nice stuff you have on ur blog your above excellence”

Who am I to argue?
“Seems to be Nice. You have to be very sensible!”

Fair enough, but how’s my grammar?
“undoubtedly like your internet web site but you want to check the spelling on several of your posts. Several of them are rife with spelling difficulties and I locate it really troublesome to tell the truth nevertheless I will undoubtedly come back once more.”

Just doing my job
“Thanks for another informative web site. Where else could I get that kind of information written in such an ideal way? I have a project that I am just now working on, and I’ve been on the look out for such info.”

“I’ve been exploring for a little for any high-quality articles or blog posts on this kind of space . Exploring in Yahoo I ultimately stumbled upon this website. Reading this info So i’m satisfied to show that I’ve an incredibly good uncanny feeling I discovered just what I needed. I such a lot undoubtedly will make certain to don?t put out of your mind this web site and provides it a glance regularly.”

“Yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a speculative determination outstanding post! Definitely believe that which you stated. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the web the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I definitely get annoyed while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks”

I’m welling up
“I must show my appreciation to the writer just for rescuing me from this particular challenge. As a result of looking out through the internet and obtaining solutions that were not pleasant, I believed my life was well over. Being alive minus the approaches to the difficulties you have solved as a result of this website is a serious case, as well as those that might have badly affected my career if I hadn’t encountered the website. Your good know-how and kindness in taking care of all the details was tremendous. I’m not sure what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a subject like this. I can also at this time relish my future. Thank you very much for this specialized and effective guide. I will not hesitate to recommend your web page to any individual who would like counselling about this issue.”

You’ve got to admire their cheek – would that be metaspam?
“Hi there, i read your blog from time to time and i own a similar one and i was just wondering if you get a lot of spam remarks? If so how do you reduce it, any plugin or anything you can advise? I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.”

Top tips from the market
“Buying pennies today just to trade them in tomorrow is just brilliant. Any time you have a chance to tripe your money, you have to take it!”

So very, very true
“I was just seeking this information for a while. After six hours of continuous Googleing, finally I got it in your web site. I wonder what is the lack of Google strategy that don’t rank this type of informative sites in top of the list. Generally the top websites are full of garbage.”

And finally a word from Yoda (though I’m really not sure about that emoticon)
“Amazing the simplest way well-written plus helpful this became! I am glad to become among many readers on this exceptional internet site (:, many thanks for placing up.”

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About Eva Hudson
Eva Hudson is an author who specialises in writing crime thrillers featuring strong female leads. Eva was born and raised in south London and now splits her time between the Sussex countryside and central London. She’s been a government officer, singer, dotcom entrepreneur, portrait artist, web designer and project manager. In 2011 she won the inaugural Lucy Cavendish fiction prize for her first novel, political thriller, The Loyal Servant.

5 Responses to The best of spam

  1. Ha ! Brilliant post, Eva. Hate to break it to you, but some of these guys may not be ‘exclusive’ and sound familiar from my own WordPress junkbox. Isn’t it strange how this kind of spamming only seems to attract users of English as a second, or possibly third or fourth, language? Someone should set up a website to teach them how to suck up to us in a syntactically acceptable fashion…..

  2. 言葉 says:

    元から可愛くないだろ ホスト崩れのチャラい男や、つけまつげてんこ盛りなメスが派手な付け爪してよ、
    余計なお世話かもしれないけど目が悪くないのにコンタクトいれるのはやめた方がいいと思う また、コスト削減から会社支給で揃えるのを止めている場合も多くなっており、
    いや、不自然なかんじはすごいあるけど小さい頃から黒目がちなのはわかるよ 食べてるけど・・・(´・ω・`)  すまん  でも美味しくないナ 食べるはじから冷めて行く なんかヨレヨレのYシャツの軽くハゲたおじさんで会社に呼んだんだけど入ってくるなりなんか

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